


Only The Baby Is Fake

by LadyDrace



Series: Junk Ficlets from Tumblr [115]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, Communication, Fake Baby, Flirting, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Misunderstandings, POV Derek Hale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-29 18:32:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12090912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyDrace/pseuds/LadyDrace
Summary: Derek gets stuck with Stiles as a partner for the fake baby high school project. Which would be fine if Stiles could just stop being a jerk for five goddamn minutes.





	Only The Baby Is Fake

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bleep0bleep](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bleep0bleep/gifts).



> Written for Carrie who prompted "taking care of a fake baby for a high school project." Originally posted [here on Tumblr](http://ladydrace.tumblr.com/post/152859661091/if-youre-still-looking-for-tropes-how-about).
> 
> Also, I have zero experience with this fake baby thing, so [I just googled it](http://www.bestlibrary.org/homebaby/).
> 
> Unbetaed.

”You look adorable,” Stiles says with a grin, for the third time that night, and Derek is just  _done_. If he has to do this while fake-feeding their goddamn fake baby they’re fake-parenting for the weekend, then so be it.

 

”Okay, you need to stop,” Derek says, and he kinda hates himself for how softly he speaks. The robot baby can’t register noise or anything, but something very basic in Derek is keeping him from letting his voice sound angry around a baby. Fake or not.

 

Stiles frowns. ”Huh? Stop what?”

 

”Look, I get that this whole assignment is a joke to you, but I really want to pass this class, so if you could please just dial down your usual level of asshole for this last day I’d really appreciate it.”

 

”My level of-  _excuse me_?”

 

Derek sighs, and silently prays to whatever deity might be listening for patience. ”Just stop being a dick for five minutes, please. Can you do that?”

 

Stiles actually looks hurt. Which is ridiculous, because he’s _so much_ not the wounded party here. ”How, exactly, have I been a dick about this?!”

 

”You act like it’s a joke! At my expense!”

 

”… I’m sorry, you lost me.” Derek glares, and Stiles holds his hands up, placatingly. ”Dude, I’m not screwing with you. I’m honestly confused.”

 

”Fine,” Derek grits out. If Stiles wants it spelled out to him, Derek can do that. Anything to stop this goddamn freight train of mocking. ”Literally from the first second you’ve been smirking at me and joking around about how I’d make a nice dilf and how I look cute with a baby and all that shit. You laugh every single time I change a diaper, and I swear to god if you correct my burping technique one more time I’m gonna get really unpleasant.”

 

Stiles’ face makes a lot of complicated movements, and Derek stares at him, because  _what the hell is his problem_.

 

The most annoying part of it is that Stiles is  _nice_. Derek  _knows_  he’s nice. Or that he at least has the capacity to be nice. Stiles is brash, and sometimes steps on other people’s feelings, but he’s always contrite when he’s made aware of it. He can get downright cruel when people are assholes to him or his friends, but he helps anyone with practically anything if they ask nicely. He has a wicked sense of humor that’s often beyond most of their fellow students, and sometimes even the teachers, but Derek feels like he gets Stiles. Hell, he’d even wondered occasionally if they wouldn’t have made good friends if they’d happened to fall into the same circles in high school. It was probably just chance that they didn’t, Derek ending up mostly with his sister’s ragtag group of friends from various years, and Stiles sticking with the asthma kid Scott and his string of girlfriends.

 

So why the hell is Stiles being such a prick about this?

 

”Okay, first of all – and please don’t blow a fuse over this – I correct your burping because you always tilt the baby too much. It said right there in the instructions: don’t leave your baby on its stomach for more than two minutes!”

 

”It’s  _not_ -”

 

” _Secondly…_  what the  _fuck_  gave you the idea I was mocking you?”

 

”Because you are?!”

 

”How the hell do you figure that?!” Stiles cries, and Derek only barely stops himself from covering the fake baby’s ears. ”I’m giving you compliments!”

 

Derek huffs. ”Yeah, right. Compliments. I know what sarcasm is, Stiles.”

 

”Obviously not, since you’re  _wrong!_ ”

 

”… you’re not making any sense right now.”

 

The baby makes its signature coo to indicate it’s full, and Derek immediately moves it to his shoulder for burping. He can tell Stiles is trying really hard to restrain himself, but it only lasts a few seconds before he’s out of his chair. ”Oh, give it to me, I wanna pass this class too, you know!”

 

”I got it!” Derek protests, but hands the baby over without a fight anyway.

 

”Look, you don’t hang it over your shoulder like wild game!”

 

”Don’t smother it into your chest, either!”

 

To Derek’s surprise, Stiles does adjust his hold, and lifts the baby higher before going back to patting its back. ”See? I can take constructive criticism. Unlike you who can’t even take a goddamn sincere compliment,” he adds in a mutter, and Derek stares at him.

 

”Sincere my ass, you’re always grinning!”

 

”That’s just my face!” Stiles hisses, and Derek can’t help but smile, because now Stiles is doing it too, keeping his voice down to not startle the fake baby. ”Okay,  _now_  who’s grinning you freakin’ hypocrite?”

 

”I wasn’t grinning.”

 

”Neither was I.”

 

Silence falls, thick and heavy between them while Stiles gently pats the baby’s back, and Derek mulls over the last few minutes. ”Are you honestly telling me you were being serious?” he asks finally, and Stiles just nods, eyes uncharacteristically directed at the carpet instead of Derek’s face. ”It doesn’t make any sense, though. You’re always so rude to me.”

 

”Not always. Only when you’re rude first.”

 

”I’m not rude!”

 

”You literally grunt at people in greeting. Even people who ask you how your day is going or something. That’s kinda rude, Derek.”

 

”I don’t mean to be. It’s just… my way.”

 

”And this is just my face,” Stiles retorts, and looks up to catch Derek’s gaze again, challenge obvious in his eyes.

 

With all the evidence presented, Derek finally has to admit that maybe he read a few things wrong, and assumed even more. And… apparently Stiles thinks he’s cute. It makes Derek’s ears feel hot, and they make it through burping, rocking and one more diaper change before he finds the courage to say something. ”I’m sorry I accused you of being a jerk.”

 

Stiles looks up from the basket where he’s double checking the baby is done needing stuff for now, and he looks like he’s grinning, he really does. But Derek remembers suddenly how he’s been told a few times that his laughter sounded fake when it really wasn’t, so he makes the conscious effort of taking Stiles at his word, and offers a sincere smile in return.

 

”It’s okay. You’re cute, so I forgive you.”

 

This time the words leave a swirl of pleasure in Derek’s gut, and his ears definitely go hot again.

 

”Okay, so…” Stiles says, fidgeting awkwardly. ”Now that we’re on the same page, I guess it’s a good time to ask… uh. Would you mind… I mean. Would you like to go out with me sometime? On a date?”

 

”Well,” Derek says slowly. ”Seeing as I already knocked you up, I guess it’s about time.”

 

”Excuse you, asshole, I do believe  _I_  did the knocking up, these curves don’t lie,” Stiles protests, hands tracing the line of his slim waist, but his grin is steadily widening, and Derek isn’t sure how he could have missed the joy in it until now.

 

”Did you just call me fat? I take it back, you’re totally a jerk,” he laughs, and Stiles throws out his hands.

 

”See?! We’re gonna be great! Assholes against the world!”

 

Derek smiles helplessly at him. ”As long as we can stop being assholes to each other, sure. Why not.”

 

(Many years later it becomes clear that asshole behavior is hereditary.)

 

End.


End file.
